The lower level was little more than a large, circular stone room. A handful of light wards glowed faintly along the walls, and several wooden boxes had been shoved haphazardly against the edges of the floor.
Inside the room stood Vex, Steve, Julia, and Almere.
Siurad, Yona, Alexander, and Rune entered as a group, surveying the scene.
“Welcome,” Vex said, an unsettlingly cheery smile plastered across his gaunt face.
“Almere! What are you doing here, buddy?” Siurad yelled from across the room.
“Apparently, I'm here to back you up, Tiny,” Almere replied.
“I still feel my presence is extremely unnecessary,” Alexander said, looking nervously around the room. He gave a short, awkward wave to Julia. Rune immediately trotted over and took a seat by her skeletal legs.
“Your presence is certainly needed,” Vex assured him smoothly. “I wish to make you all very hard to kill. To do so, I must gauge where you currently are.”
...YOUR HEALING WILL BE REQUIRED.
Alexander's face went pale. “Required?”
Vex's smile widened. “Frequently, I expect.”
“Looks like you got your work cut out for you, Shepherd. Good luck,” Yona laughed, searching for a particularly comfortable spot to lean against the wall.
...YOU ARE INCLUDED.
“Excuse me?” Yona said, appearing completely baffled.
“I believe the phrase was, 'You heard the haunted wedding ring,'” Vex said, the green flames in his eyes burning brightly with amusement.
“So, Vex, this is the training room?” Siurad asked, stretching his heavy arms slowly.
“No.”
“Then what is it?”
“Storage.”
“Explains the boxes.”
“It is perfectly adequate for what is about to occur,” Vex stated. “Prepare your dog. He is in this assessment as well.”
Rune looked up from beneath Julia's dress. He looked at Siurad, then up at Julia, and let out a soft huff of protest.
“Traitor,” Siurad muttered beneath his breath. “Let's get this show on the road.”
...BEGIN.
Vex quickly organized them: Steve and Julia on one side; Almere, Siurad, Yona, and a very reluctant Rune on the other. Alexander stood off to the side, technically included, but strictly on medical standby.
“Listen up,” Almere warned, drawing his sword. “Don't let their size fool you, they are surprisingly nimble.”
Yona smirked, “You haven't seen speed.”
“Steve, you may begin,” Vex said.
Steve took several lumbering steps forward. Siurad and Yona made eye contact, sharing a single, silent nod.
Siurad moved first.
Pop!
With a rush of displaced air, he Void-Stepped directly to Steve's flank and drove a gauntleted fist into the side of the behemoth's skull. Steve staggered half a step before catching himself. Instantly, a wave of frost raced across the stone floor, locking one of Steve's massive feet in a block of solid ice.
Without missing a beat, Siurad dropped his heavy shoulder and slammed his massive frame into the side of the undead giant, intending to knock him completely off balance.
Almere stayed back cautiously, holding a glowing blue rope he had produced from a pack hooked to his belt.
Julia, meanwhile, just watched Rune, who stood next to Almere.
Yona rocketed toward Steve. Using Siurad's broad back as a springboard, she vaulted into the air, emerald hellfire erupting around her daggers as she aimed to drive them straight through Steve's skull.
Steve dipped low and twisted. The sudden movement sent Siurad tumbling over his shoulder, but before the bouncer could fall, the behemoth reached out and snatched his ankle. Spinning Siurad around like a human cudgel, Steve swung his large frame directly at Yona. She barely had time to cancel out her hellfire before they collided in a heavy tangle of limbs.
Steve, never breaking his momentum, rushed the entangled duo with a terrifying speed that completely belied his massive size.
“Fuck, that hurt,” Siurad groaned, scrambling to his feet.
“Oh, you like to fight dirty?” Yona yelled. She slammed her hands down, letting out another burst of frost to coat the floor in front of them.
Steve skidded to a halt just short of the frozen stone. Siurad seized the opening.
Pop!
A jagged shadow-spike formed in his palm as he reappeared directly at Steve's flank, ready to strike.
Steve reacted before Siurad could even register the movement. A massive skeletal elbow slammed into his ribcage like a battering ram. Siurad went flying backward, crashing hard against the stone wall and crumbling into a breathless heap on the floor.
Steve was upon him in an instant, a colossal fist raised to deliver a crushing blow.
Suddenly, a glowing blue rope snapped tight around Steve's arm, halting the strike. Almere braced his boots against the floor, holding the behemoth back.
Simultaneously, Rune transformed.
Kill mode.
The horse-sized shadow wolf launched himself across the room. With a violent displacement of air, Rune Void-Stepped, appearing instantly beside Steve with a maw of roiling violet fire opened impossibly wide.
And then came a kick like lightning.
Julia blurred forward, her long, skeletal leg connecting squarely with Rune's ribcage before his jaws could snap shut.
The massive wolf vanished sideways. He struck the floor, rolled twice, and crashed through one of the wooden boxes near the wall. Splintered boards exploded around him.
Rune let out a howl of surprise, his shadow-fur elongating and waving aggressively. He looked at Julia with a stare of utter betrayal, and then he roared. Violet eyes blazing, he emerged from the splintered wood.
Julia simply straightened her dress and let out one unrepentant click.
Rune's roar died in his throat. He cocked his head, his ears dropping slightly in a sign of mild confusion. His violet flare burned more intensely, however, as he dashed forward once more.
Siurad, who had recovered from intensely watching the floor, climbed to his feet. He backed up, creating space and choosing to recenter near Almere.
“Did she just challenge my dog?”
“She told him to watch his surroundings, and that the next one won't be so pleasant!” Alexander yelled from the sidelines.
“Wait, you can understand her?” Siurad asked, blinking.
“Focus, Shepherd!” Yona yelled, skidding to a halt by his side.
“I told you, they are quicker than they look and they pack a punch,” Almere said, his hands digging frantically through his pouch.
‘...YOU ARE GETTING EMBARRASSED.’
Fuck you, Obi, Yona and Siurad thought in unison.
“Listen to me,” Almere yelled. “You guys won't make any progress doing your usual dog-and-pony show. We have to move as a unit, split them up, and reduce their ability to intervene on each other's behalf.”
“Easy for you to say, you haven't been hit yet,” Siurad grumbled.
“I intend not to. It's easy math, Tiny. An eight-foot skeleton plus a big fist equals a bad day.”
“Fine,” Siurad said, looking around the room. “Time to turn up the heat, Yona.”
Yona nodded. With a burst of speed, she crossed the stone floor quickly. She approached Steve, hellfire blazing from her hands, then shot a pillar of flame that reached from the floor to the ceiling, blinding the behemoth.
“Now!” she screamed.
Like a furry siege engine, Rune shot through the flames, his massive jaws clamping tight around Steve's forearm. Yanking with his entire body weight, he began to drag Steve toward the floor.
Julia barreled toward Steve to assist. Almere produced another glowing rope from his pouch, this one black. He tossed it true, the line wrapping tight around Julia's leg. Siurad grabbed the end of the rope with Almere, their combined force pulling taut and significantly slowing Julia down.
Off to the side, Vex wrote something down in a small ledger.
“Are you taking notes?” Alexander asked, appalled.
“Yes,” Vex replied calmly.
“About what?!” he pressed.
“Deficiencies,” Vex said, turning over to a new page.
“We should have set some ground rules!”
“We have. The only rule is survive.”
Across the room, Yona ran circles around Steve while he was preoccupied with Rune, freezing his massive legs to the floor in thick blocks of ice.
“Not so tough now!” Yona taunted.
Clack. Clack.
“Don't antagonize them!” Almere screamed, his boots sliding across the stone as he and Siurad desperately pulled on the rope.
Julia looked down at her snared leg, looked over at Steve, and then her empty eye sockets drifted to Yona.
She clicked.
The slack in the rope violently tightened. Almere and Siurad's feet slid forward, their grip loosening underneath them as they were pulled.
“Shit,” Almere said. “Let go of the—”
Almere released his grip just in time. It was too late for Siurad. Julia kicked her leg forward with a massive lurch. Siurad went flying across the room, sailing helplessly through the air before going face-first into Yona.
A loud crack reverberated throughout the room as Siurad and Yona collapsed into a heap of broken boxes and spilled sacks of rice.
“Stop using me to hit her!” Siurad yelled, spitting out grain.
Julia let out a sharp clack.
“Julia!” Alexander exclaimed, running over with his hands glowing to heal the injured pair.
“I said not to antagonize!” Almere yelled, running toward the group.
Julia was on Rune in an instant, grabbing the horse-sized wolf by his hind legs. He tried to turn to bite her, but he couldn't quite reach.
She began to spin.
Siurad, newly healed and back on his feet, took off running toward Rune.
“Let go of my dog!”
Steve, having broken free of the ice, ran to intercept, forcing Siurad to pivot his direction. The exact moment he changed course, Julia let go.
The massive shadow wolf flew through the air, crashing squarely into Siurad and sending them both tumbling back to the floor.
“I just healed that!” Alexander yelled, finishing his healing magic on Yona.
“I believe a break is in order,” Vex said, casually flipping through the pages of his assessment.
Rune shrank back down to travel size, gave Siurad a quick, apologetic lick on the cheek, and then immediately trotted over to sit beside Julia.
“She just Jazzy Jeffed him right into me, and he's already her best friend again,” Siurad muttered in disbelief.
“What?” Yona asked, furiously wiping spilled rice out of her hair.
“Never mind,” Siurad groaned, rubbing his temples.
They sat there for several minutes, recuperating in the debris and listening to Almere draft new, slightly more desperate plans of attack. That's when Siurad finally asked a practical question.
“Obi, how the hell are they that big and that fast?”
‘...HOW ARE YOU THAT DUMB? YOUR TACTICS HAVE BEEN SUPREMELY INEFFICIENT.’
“I would love to see the martial prowess of a glorified piece of pumice,” Yona barked at the ring.
‘...PUMICE? YOU COMPARE THE UNPARALLELED DENSITY OF OBSIDIAN TO VOLCANIC FROTH?!’
“Density?!” Yona hissed. “Great. Now he's a stone snob.”
‘...DO NOT TEMPT ME, WITCH. YOU ARE NOTHING MORE THAN AN OVER-GLORIFIED JACKAL. A SLIGHTLY PRETTIER, FIVE-TAILED VARIATION OF A SCAVENGING, FLEA-BITTEN DOG.’
“Ouch,” Siurad winced. “Okay, bit too far there. How 'bout we return to our regularly scheduled programming? Steve, Julia... you ready?”
Vex walked forward, holding a thin, pale finger in the air.
“A moment, please,” he said. “Kivuli is being deliberately unhelpful.”
‘...THE QUESTION WAS POORLY PHRASED.’
“The answer is actually rather simple,” Vex said, ignoring the ring. “I made them that large.”
Siurad looked toward Steve and Julia. “You?”
“After the Fall. Their original bodies were considerably more modest.”
Yona glanced up at the two eight-foot skeletons. “How modest?”
“Approximately your size.”
Yona stared. “You turned regular skeletons into... those?”
Vex looked mildly offended. “They required improvements.”
Siurad pointed a gauntleted finger toward Steve. “Okay. That explains the part where he can use me like sporting equipment. What about the speed?”
Vex smiled. “That was Xara.”
Siurad's hand slowly lowered. “She trained them?”
“For centuries.”
Steve gave a proud click. Julia answered with an affirmative one of her own.
“They were considerably smaller when she began,” Vex continued. “Their current bodies simply allow old lessons to produce much more unpleasant results.”
Almere looked toward Siurad, his hand resting on the pommel of his sword. “Which is what I've been trying to tell you. You're fighting their bodies.”
Vex nodded. “Precisely.” He tapped his stack of notes. “Their bodies are not why you are losing.”
Siurad let out a long breath and looked at Almere. “Your plan better work.”
“Ready!” Almere yelled.
That was the signal. Yona took off in a blur, emerald and blue streaks tracing through the air as she sprinted around the room. She fired volleys of hellfire and frost in every direction, but every single shot missed Steve and Julia, instead leaving towering walls of fire and slick patches of ice scattered across the floor.
“Yona, you're missing!” Alexander yelled from the sidelines. “Conserve your mana!”
“On it, Saint!” she yelled over her shoulder, flashing him a quick thumbs-up.
Steve attempted to block her path. She pivoted hard, darting in the opposite direction while still firing off wild volleys of flame and ice. The behemoth gave chase, staying right on her heels and steadily gaining ground, a massive skeletal hand reaching out to snatch her.
Rune launched next. Back in kill mode, the horse-sized monstrosity took massive strides, the violet flames in his eyes flaring wildly.
Steve gave a sharp click of warning.
Julia moved to intercept. Dodging ice patches and hurdling flaming walls, she approached Rune at full speed. Then, Rune pivoted and Void-Stepped directly into her path.
Pop!
The full force of the massive shadow wolf slammed into her frame. They went down in a tangle of bone and fur, Rune biting down hard on her forearm. Landing on her back, Julia tried to counter with a vicious kick, but a glowing blue rope suddenly snapped tight, snagging her legs together.
“Now!” Almere yelled, hauling back on the rope.
Yona pivoted sharply toward Julia, hellfire blazing in both palms as she raced across the floor, deliberately sliding on her own ice patches to drastically increase her speed.
Realizing the trap, Steve abandoned his pursuit of Yona and charged toward Julia, his massive body barreling through the hazard course like a runaway siege engine.
Got 'em, Siurad thought.
Pop!
He stepped, appearing mid-air directly behind Steve and wrapping his thick arms tightly around the behemoth's neck. Steve clicked, highly irritated by the unwanted passenger.
Pop!
Siurad stepped again, this time anchoring to a shadow cast by the highest pillar in the room. He and Steve reappeared forty feet in the air. Before Steve could react to the sudden vertical drop, Siurad clasped both of his heavy gauntlets together and brought them down on Steve's spine like a sledgehammer.
With a massive, resounding CRACK, Steve hit the ground, crashing violently through a stack of crates containing stored vegetables. Wood splintered in every direction.
A single, solitary carrot bounced harmlessly across the stone floor, rolling to a gentle stop right at Siurad's boots.
Siurad recoiled in disgust. “Ew.”
Yona leaned heavily onto Julia’s back, her flaming daggers pointed menacingly around the skeleton's skull. Rune supplied steady, crushing pressure to Julia's massive spine.
“We did it!” Siurad yelled, clapping his heavy gauntlets together. “Teamwork makes the dream work, baby!”
Pop!
Siurad Void-Stepped over to Yona, enthusiastically offering her a high-five.
“You did that shit, girl!”
“They weren't that tough,” she lied smoothly, slapping his hand.
Julia let out a sharp click.
“She says, 'Well done,'” Alexander translated, yelling from across the room.
Across the floor, Steve stood up from the splintered debris, casually wiping a stray leaf of cabbage from his skeletal head. He looked at Vex, waiting.
“Proceed,” Vex said casually, waving a hand.
Steve clicked twice to Julia, who responded with one sharp click of her own.
“Shit,” Almere breathed, his eyes widening. “Ready yourselves!”
Steve moved like a blur, his skeletal frame becoming a terrifying white haze of massive bones.
Pop!
Siurad stepped, appearing at Steve's flank, and immediately stepped again to get behind his back. This time, instead of an opening, he was greeted by a massive skeletal knee straight to the chest, sending him flying.
“Shit,” Almere said again, watching Siurad skid violently across the stone. “Disperse!” he yelled, dropping his end of the rope.
Yona turned, only to see a massive hand wrap entirely around her boot. Steve lifted her effortlessly, her body dangling upside down. She let out a frantic burst of frost to freeze his feet in place, then swung her torso up, trying to reach his ribcage. She began to channel radial shards of ice, fully intent on exploding his chest cavity from the inside out.
Steve simply kicked, shattering her ice traps into a thousand harmless shards.
Julia, now completely free from the rope, flipped herself over and managed to catch Rune in a brutal chokehold. With a heave, she punted the massive wolf across the room.
Dangling in the air, Yona switched tactics, channeling hellfire. The constant swinging made it impossible to aim, and she ended up just scorching a piece of her own hair.
Steve twisted his hips and tossed Yona like a ragdoll directly into Siurad, who had just managed to get back to his feet.
“AGAIN!” Siurad yelled loudly as they tangled on the floor.
Steve and Julia clicked in unison, standing much closer to each other this time. Yona and Siurad were barely back on their feet when the behemoths moved. They attacked together in perfect synchronicity. Yona managed a desperate dodge to the side, leaving Siurad to take a brutal, sweeping strike to his chest plate. He crashed backward into the wall.
Steve clicked.
Julia, hot on Yona's heels, matched her stride for stride, moving incredibly fast before eventually overtaking her. Yona slammed on the brakes, turning to pivot back the way she came, only to be grabbed by Steve, who had seemingly appeared from nowhere.
“Fuck,” Yona hissed as Steve spun her around.
Rune appeared next to Steve, snapping his massive jaws at the skeleton's leg.
Clack.
Julia was there instantly, wrapping her arm around the wolf's neck and pushing all her force down onto him. Rune struggled wildly against her, trying to free himself.
Steve let go of Yona, sending her tumbling across the floor until she slid back-first into a wall. She tried to stand, but her legs instantly gave out.
“Disqualified,” Vex said from the sidelines, writing in his ledger.
“I can still go,” she wheezed, lying through her teeth.
Steve, now free of Yona, turned his full attention to Rune.
Julia, still holding the struggling shadow wolf by the neck, patted his head tenderly, then clicked. She tightened her hold and lifted Rune’s chest just enough to expose his underside. Steve saw the opening immediately.
One heavy fist drove upward into Rune’s abdomen. Julia’s knee followed a fraction of a second later from the opposite side. Rune folded around the impacts with a strangled yelp. His violet fire guttered out, and his enormous body instantly collapsed back into its harmless, travel-sized form.
“Disqualified,” Vex said again, scratching his quill against the paper.
Siurad stood shakily against the wall, breathing heavily through the dents in his armor. “Two versus two... still manageable. Ain't that right, buddy?” he wheezed, looking over at Almere.
Almere looked at Steve. Steve looked at Almere. Julia clicked.
Almere calmly sheathed his sword and sat down on a broken crate. “I yield.”
“What?!” Siurad yelled.
“Disqualified,” Vex muttered.
“Wow,” Siurad said, looking deeply betrayed.
“Told you, Tiny. You have to do the math,” Almere said, crossing his arms comfortably.
“That's okay,” Siurad cackled. “Two versus one. Let's get it.”
He lowered his stance, preparing to engage them both.
Julia looked at Steve.
Clack.
Steve nodded.
“Disqualified,” Vex said, making another mark in his ledger as Julia simply turned, walked over, and took a seat next to the battered Rune.
“She scared?” Siurad called out, bouncing on his toes.
“She says Steve has this!” Alexander yelled.
Steve tilted his head.
Clack. Click.
“You're a bit confident for a bag of bones, aren't you?” Siurad taunted.
“Terrible idea, Tiny!” Almere yelled from his crate.
“Abort, Siurad! I can only heal you so much!” Alexander pleaded.
“You and me, bone daddy. Show me what you got.”
Yona facepalmed. “Never say that again, Shepherd.”
’...EMBARRASSING.’
“Fine,” Siurad grunted. He charged.
Steve swung a massive fist. Siurad deflected with his inner wrist, then delivered a heavy strike to Steve's jaw. Steve paused for a moment, regarding the large man inquisitively.
Siurad struck again, the second blow crashing hard into Steve's ribs.
Steve responded. The next blow the skeleton threw struck true, catching Siurad right in the side of the face. Siurad flew back several feet, sliding across the stone, but immediately stood again.
“Gonna take more than that,” he said, spitting out a mouthful of blood.
Steve stopped and looked over at Vex.
“Proceed,” Vex said casually, still writing.
Steve approached. He hit Siurad a little harder this time, catching him squarely in the ribcage. Siurad buckled, but he did not fall. He returned with a brutal strike of his own, catching Steve on the collarbone and sending the behemoth skidding back several inches.
Steve tilted his head in the opposite direction this time. Then, he charged.
He rushed in, throwing terrifyingly fast, heavy punches. Siurad dodged a few, the violently displaced air making his locs sway. Planting his feet, Siurad turned his hips and sent a violent hook directly into Steve's extended elbow. The force put a tiny, audible crack in the ancient bone.
Steve clicked. Using one massive hand to push Siurad back by the shoulder, the skeleton stepped forward, coming up with a vicious right hook that knocked Siurad completely off his feet.
He landed in a crumpled heap of limbs on the cold ground.
Steve clicked again, looking back at Vex to see if he should stop.
On the floor, Siurad's heavy gauntlets curled into fists. Then, shakily, he stood back up.
“Yeah, that's it?” He spat another thick wad of blood onto the stone. “You're about to have a long night.”
They reengaged in a brutal flurry, the violent impacts of leather, metal, and ancient bone echoing loudly through the room.
Siurad fell to one knee, but he did not stop. He threw another heavy hook directly into Steve's right kneecap, the sheer force buckling the massive skeleton and sending splinters of bone skittering across the floor. Siurad was up again immediately, trading more brutal blows against the behemoth's ribcage.
Steve blocked the next strike with his left forearm, then countered, sending a massive fist right into Siurad's chin. The bouncer fell instantly. Steve stepped forward, keeping his guard up.
Siurad rolled onto his side, then shakily regained his footing on wobbly knees. They exchanged blows again, each hit from Steve landing progressively harder. Abandoning all technique for pure spite, Siurad just kept punching, answering every bone-shattering strike with one of his own.
“Call it,” Almere said, walking over to Vex and pointing toward the two combatants.
“It appears Steve has stopped checking whether he may increase the force,” Vex mused, watching intently.
Siurad hit Steve with a wild uppercut that sent the skeleton sliding back a few feet. “Ha!” he yelled, spitting blood. “You gotta show me!”
“It appears he confuses survival with winning,” Vex noted.
By the end of their next exchange, Siurad's left arm dangled uselessly at his side. He took short, ragged breaths, swaying as though a strong breeze could knock him over. Yet, with each devastating impact Steve landed, Siurad refused to fall, returning each shot with whatever strength he had left.
Steve, fully intent on ending the assessment, nodded once and clicked. He settled his weight onto his rear foot.
Almere's expression changed. “Tiny—”
Steve swung. Siurad moved just enough. The blow glanced brutally across his shoulder instead of catching him clean, but the sheer force spun him inward.
Siurad went with it. He planted his remaining strength into the stone floor, rotated through his hips, and drove a massive uppercut directly into Steve's lower jaw.
Crack.
A fracture spidered across the skeleton's mandible.
Vex's green flames pulsed. “I am going to have to repair that,” he muttered.
Steve rocked backward. For perhaps half a second, Siurad looked victorious. Then Steve's left hook arrived. The blow caught Siurad flush on the cheek, sending him spiraling to the ground.
He lay there, breathing in wet, heavy gasps. Ever so slowly, he dragged himself back to his feet. He was barely able to stand, his one functional arm hanging like lead, unable to rise above his stomach.
“Enough,” Vex said.
“What?” Siurad slurred, his remaining eye swollen. “I got him right where I want him. Look at him. He's tired.”
Steve clicked and gave Siurad a firm, respectful pat on the back.
Siurad smiled a bloody, lopsided grin. “See? Mutual respec—”
His legs instantly folded beneath him, and he crumpled unconscious to the stone floor.