Siurad awoke to a violent push.
“Get up, big guy,” Yona whispered.
“Yona,” he muttered, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “This better be important. I was having a dream about Popeyes and Call of Duty. I could practically taste the chicken.”
“Alexander's missing, and so is the dog. Get your ass up.”
She was standing over him, a dagger already drawn in her hand.
“Shit.” He jumped from the bed, frantically searching for his sword. “Did you hear anything?”
“No, nothing. But it sounds like there's a lot of commotion going on out there.”
“Okay,” Siurad said, strapping on his blade. “We go get the priest and get the hell out of here.”
“I bet it was the creepy guy with the monocle. He has a thing for the saint.”
Siurad approached the door. He leaned his heavy frame against the stone wall and slowly pushed the heavy wood open just a crack. He peered out, looking both ways down the hall.
“Looks like they're packing up shop,” he reported softly. “And some old guy is chiseling something off the wall.”
“Alright,” Yona said, instantly formulating the worst possible escape plan. “We bum-rush the old guy and make him take us to Alexander. The first one that tries anything gets a face full of hellfire.”
“No complaints from me,” Siurad said, steadying himself.
‘...THE PRIEST IS NOT IN DANGER. VEX WOULD NOT ALLOW IT.’
We can't know that, Obi, Siurad sighed internally. You have been away a long time. People change.
“They got our saint,” Yona added, gripping her dagger tighter. “That doesn't exactly scream friendly.”
“On three,” Siurad said, counting quietly.
“One.”
“Two.”
“Three!”
He burst through the door, his massive frame charging down the hall like a runaway boulder. The cultists stopped what they were doing, staring in absolute shock at the giant man sprinting toward them.
Within moments, he was upon the old man, grabbing him by the back of his shirt and hoisting him right off his stool.
“Where the hell did you take the priest?!”
“What the hell are you on about?!”
The man struggled, his legs kicking the air, but he couldn't break loose from Siurad's iron grip.
“What did you do with Alexander? Did the creepy man take him?”
“This was a cult, there are a lot of creepy men!” the old man replied, sounding less angry and more intensely irritated by the interruption. “Wait... are you talking about the priest kid? He went walking around about an hour ago.”
“You want us to believe that Alexander… our Alexander, decided to take a casual stroll around a cult that was going to sacrifice him less than twenty-four hours ago?!” Yona demanded, her hand beginning to ignite with green flame.
“Take us to the saint,” Siurad barked.
“Stop yelling and put me down, I have a bad back!” the old man wheezed, kicking his legs. “He offered to heal me, and he has Asset Number Nine with him.”
“So you want me to believe that Alexander went walking around with a dog he's terrified of, and offered to fix your back?!” Siurad yelled.
Yona put a calming hand on Siurad's massive shoulder.
“Actually, the dog does like him. And Alexander would definitely offer to heal random old people.”
“Hmmm,” Siurad said, his anger deflating as he considered the facts. He set the man down slowly and patted the dust off his shoulders. “Excuse us. Which way to the saint?”
“He went that way,” the old man groaned, wincing as he rubbed his spine. “Damn brute, you hurt my back.”
Siurad took off down the hallway toward the direction the man had pointed. Yona sprinted after him, calling over her shoulder as she ran.
“Just put some ice on it!”
’...YOU HAVE ACCOSTED A SENIOR CITIZEN.’
They ran down the corridor, swerving past initiates engaged in various chores. Mostly, they were dodging people carrying heavy wooden boxes. They soon came upon a three-way intersection.
“Which way?” Siurad asked, skidding to a halt.
Suddenly, they heard what sounded like a muffled scream. They immediately turned right, ignoring the carpeted stairs leading down to the library. As they ran, Siurad unsheathed his heavy broadsword. They heard the noise again, coming from a room with a closed wooden door.
“Hold on, Saint, we're coming!” Siurad roared as he reared back and kicked the door right off its hinges.
Inside was what could best be described as a deeply confusing horror scene. A man wearing what appeared to be a potato sack tied around his head with holes cut out for eyes, and absolutely nothing else, lay strapped to a stone slab. Beside him, another man dressed in all black jumped in sheer terror. He was holding a remarkably large carrot.
The carrot slipped from his hand, hit the stone floor with a dull thud, and rolled gently toward the doorway.
Siurad stared. The man in black stared back.
“Okay. Wrong door,” Siurad said flatly.
He backed away slowly, stepping out of the room and back into the hallway.
Yona, however, lingered in the doorway a little longer than necessary, her head tilted in genuine fascination, causing Siurad to reach back in and violently yank her out by the arm.
‘...ARE YOU FOOLS DONE WITH THIS CHARADE? YOU ARE EMBARRASSING ME.’
Siurad slumped against the corridor's stone wall, his breathing ragged and heavy. He sheathed his sword.
“I need a minute, Yona. I'm out of breath and slightly confused. What the hell was that?”
Yona leaned her head around the doorframe, slightly peeking back inside the room.
“Excuse me!” the man in black yelled indignantly from inside.
“Sorry!” she called back, quickly pulling her head away.
“Yona, I'm lost. I don't know what to do. But I'm definitely not kicking down any more doors.”
Behind him, a muffled gurgle emerged from the room.
“Agreed,” Yona said.
“Yona.”
“I'm agreeing.”
“Stop looking.”
“I am gathering intelligence.”
‘...YOU ARE BEING NOSY.’
“Same profession,” Yona muttered.
Siurad struggled to get back to his feet, dusting off his knees. “Okay, we're not crossing this door again, so we go back the way we came. He has to be around here somewhere.”
They walked a few feet forward before a woman carrying a small wooden crate approached them. She was pale, with a jagged scar that ran down her neck.
“Are you the two causing the disturbance?” she asked, sounding deeply annoyed.
“No, that wouldn't be us,” Yona lied smoothly.
The woman rolled her eyes. “They say you're looking for the priest? He's down in the library.”
“Thank you, ma'am,” Siurad said, grabbing Yona by the collar of her tunic. “Let's go get him. We've explored enough.”
‘...YOU HAVE LEARNED NOTHING, BESIDES THE UTILITY OF A CARROT.’
“OBI!” Siurad yelled at the ceiling.
Quickly, they retraced their steps and found themselves hurrying down a set of carpeted stairs. Inside the library, they found more cultists busily packing away books. In the back, sitting in a large, comfortable leather chair, was Alexander. He had a towering stack of scrolls on the desk, and Rune was lying on his side, draped lazily across the priest's feet.
Alexander looked up from his reading and smiled. “There you are. Good morning.”
“Good morning?!” Siurad exclaimed, his booming voice echoing in the quiet room. “We have been looking everywhere for you! We thought something happened!”
“I just came to this library to explore,” Alexander said calmly. “I have been with Julia and Rune almost the whole time.”
“You just up and left without telling us anything?!” Yona hissed, marching up to the desk. “Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? You know the creepy monocle guy has a thing for you, and this place has its share of strange people!”
“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you guys,” Alexander replied, pushing his glasses up his nose. “I just didn't think I required your permission.”
Siurad's jaw dropped slowly. “Permission?”
“No one said anything about permission, Saint,” Yona said, waving her hands. “It's just dangerous to go exploring unknown places without backup. We have to move as a team.”
“I had Rune with me. And Julia,” Alexander pointed out. “I was probably the safest person in the compound.”
“Possibly true,” Siurad conceded, rubbing the back of his neck, “but I would rather not take unnecessary risks. We have to stick together. What are you looking at, anyway?”
Alexander's eyes lit up as he gestured to the open ledger. “Written accords of the Obsidian Authority. It's actually quite fascinating. Some of these records date back three thousand years. This is an unheard-of historical discovery.”
“Three thousand years of records is crazy,” Siurad grunted, leaning over the desk to look at the dozen or so open books Alexander was rummaging through.
“These records are meticulously maintained,” Alexander noted. “Two names appear repeatedly: Aman and Archibald. They seem to still be active.”
“Those are the names Vex said yesterday. I know Archibald is the snail you compared me to. Who is Aman?”
‘...GASTROPOD,’ Obi corrected.
“What?” Siurad asked.
‘...ARCHIBALD IS A GASTROPOD.’
“What the hell is a gastropod?”
‘...THE DISTINCTION MATTERS TO HIM.’
“Whatever. Who is Aman?”
‘...TORIAN'S BROTHER. THE MOST NOBLE HUMAN I HAVE EVER KNOWN.’
“So, we have to find these two, and make our way over to the castle,” Siurad said, still looking over Alexander's shoulder.
‘...CITADEL.’
“Awfully corrective today, aren't we?” Yona said, eyeing Siurad's ring.
’...YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND IF I CALLED YOU A JACKAL.’
“Hey! Loosely related, but not the same. There's a difference.”
‘...CLOSE ENOUGH.’
“Just you wait, I'm going to melt you down into a culet.”
‘...TRY IT, YOU CHAOTIC PERVERT.’
“Pervert?!” Yona gasped. “Have you ever heard of reconnaissance?”
Alexander looked at Yona, then at Siurad, completely baffled. “I feel I am missing something important.”
“I was looking for you!” Yona defended herself. “And we happened upon some tactically relevant situations that involved a potato sack and a carrot.”
“A carrot?” Alexander repeated.
“Yona was peeping,” Siurad sighed, rubbing his temples.
Rune looked up from his resting place on Alexander's feet and gave her an accusatory stare.
“We only ended up there in the first place because Siurad led us in the wrong direction!” Yona shot back. “And he broke some old guy's back!”
“I didn't break his back, Yona, I just jostled him a bit.”
Alexander's hand shot over his mouth. “The old chiseling man? I offered to heal him!”
“See? It works out just fine. No harm, no foul,” Siurad said, waving a hand dismissively.
Yona leaned into Alexander's ear and whispered, “There was definitely harm.”
Alexander sighed and closed the heavy ledger. “We are going to apologize to the chiseling man, and then I'm going to heal him. And Yona, you are going to the carrot room to apologize.”
Yona smiled innocently. ”Of course, Saint. Where are my manners?”
Siurad froze. ”Wait, anything you want, but please, not the carrot room. Anything but the carrot room.”
‘...WE MUST MEET WITH VEX.’
“Great idea, Obi! He thinks we should meet with Vex first… so sadly, no time for the carrot room.”
“I've already met with Vex,” Alexander said. He swept his gaze across his companions, but then his expression shifted, his eyes widening with a sudden realization.
“By the Light…” he trailed off.
“You good, Saint?” Yona asked.
“I'm fine. I just realized I may have overlooked a minor detail in my discussion with Vex. Well, first we apologize to the chiseling man, and then we find Vex. We may skip the carrot room for now.”
“Nine hells,” Yona hissed in disappointment.
Siurad sighed with profound relief. “Man, thank you for that. Let's get out of here, it smells stuffy. Come on, Rune,” he said, turning to leave.
The group proceeded out the door: Siurad with the Citadel on his mind, Alexander agonizing over whatever detail he believed he had completely missed in his conversation with the lich, an anxious Rune keeping a sharp lookout for Julia, and a highly curious Yona pondering the extracurricular utility of a carrot.